Tuesday, January 10, 2006

These excerpts from submissions to Isaac Asimov's Science Fiction Magazine will hurt your brain with their badness. For example:
"Ejaculations aside, that's one hell of a package to swallow!"
Indeed. No context is given, but whatever it is cannot possibly make that sentence read any better. Same goes for:
They were human in every way but they owned the necks, heads, facial expressions were that of a chicken.
My favourite is the almost Joycean (as in my Great Aunt "Crazy" Joyce, not James) prose poetry of:
The afternoon was very calm but consolidated. The birds were singing but were not blithesome.

6 Comments:

At 11:37 AM, Blogger Ben.H said...

That last quote may be Joycean, but I suspect Flann O'Brien would have killed to have written that fine brace of sentences.

I remember reading about some poor soul as a work experience kid having to read through the entire slush pile at a sci-fi magazine. 99% of submissions were either Star Trek fan fiction, rip-offs of "The Most Dangerous Game", or slight variations on what is usually referred to as The Lobster Story:

"Yesterday my son woke up and ate breakfast and went to school and came home and did his homework and ate dinner and went to bed. And, like me, he is A LOBSTER!!!!"

 
At 12:39 AM, Blogger Lucy Tartan said...

That's basically the plot of Cowboy Mouth

 
At 9:21 AM, Blogger Ben.H said...

COWBOY MOUTH NEEDS MORE LOBSTERS!

 
At 3:26 AM, Blogger ass2006 said...

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At 3:27 AM, Blogger ass2006 said...

Hi, a nice blog you have here. You will surely get an bookmark :) Forum

 
At 8:37 AM, Blogger Tim said...

*Sigh*. I guess it's time to activate comment verification.

 

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