Monday, January 30, 2006

More Fake Reviews

"Peter Carey writes in a manner that, were his books children, you would beat them mercilessly, for you can tell just by looking at their little faces that they've shat on something important and hope you never find out."

"Reading China Mieville is much akin to being brutally gang-raped at knifepoint, yet being so detached from the experience that you still feel a nagging sensation that somewhere, at some point in your life, you've left the oven on."

"Being caught reading Houellebecq is like getting drunk, being forcibly given a coffee enema, and then filmed as you walk stark naked through Bourke Street Mall, stopping only long enough to vomit onto your feet: you wish none of it had ever happened, but now that it has, you can at least experience some satisfaction in knowing that a Japanese businessman will later be masturbating to the shaky, pixelated video footage."


At 5:11 PM, Blogger Tim said...

Quite brilliant. Disturbing, yet brilliant.

At 5:58 PM, Blogger JPW said...

Och, you're too kind.

At 10:28 AM, Blogger Beth said...

Isabel Allende writes like a woman having her hair permed while Gloria Estefan plays on the salon stereo.

Sure, that's not as in your face disturbing as james' brilliant efforts - but trust me, the horror is there!


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